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there are these moments..inexplicable ones..

unnamed ones...probably there are no existing words worth describing.
heart pumping hard..trying to steady the amount of adrenaline needed...mind go knowledge less..blank ..desperate..anxious.
helpless at times surrender tops the agenda..burning eyes...aching forehead...disturbed mental stature.
i have done my best to be sober...but random failures are just not justified. fate favors the brave. the parameters arent clear enough..! bravery to bear the situation ...locking jaws ...tensed tendons..are surely not the criteria of being brave..
i have not just been ok with things(in the past) yet i have been awarded wid the coronation ceremony of a failure...
now when i react i am termed as spontaneous and random wrong stepper.
this state of pandemonium is too humble to handle...i fear getting hurt by myself over and over again..

jus behaving like an toppled vehicle with helpless wheels rotating ...

support i have been seeking and availing has been wronged by the lovely souls around...what now...just another fish swimming to the current only to act as a bait to a bear..? gambling with destiny...with regression analysis going all wrong...?

or like a ripple of a lake born only to die a silent un-noticed death..?