dependence a disastrous phenomenon

my fault was, that i depended on the trend. changed my life drastically an effectively negative impact. they make me sway like a palm tree caught in the tempest n grounded firmly to the fear of consequences no courage to rebel.. thankfully i believe i am not uprooted yet.

As tears filled to the brim became hard to dam, smile disappeared from the lips. the cloud of melancholy covered the green patch. as i looked for sunshine i was blinded by clouds of sadness.

my being has lost a purpose always swinging like a pendulum with kinetic and potential energy accumulated enough to swing me for a lifetime. at every instance my presence irritated the moment. to break down was not more considered as an idea ( ideas are meant or aimed at betterment). I still regret and my heart is still heavy. As every time i have been trying to mend the time made me to destroy. every time i have tried to build the foundations was not taken care of. to be blamed is not as hurting as it was before.
i am sick i am tired i am lost. have lost the enthusiasm to try something innovative more over i am too weak to forget n take another step. i want to express but i dont have a proper language. What has become of me. i dont want to loose my self in this traumatic manner. i do realise i am goin wrong i am loosing my composure i am volatile but how can i put it too an end. i am wrong, all wrong. by fate n time ( too weak to take the blame on me) i am wronged.

the ship..

the ship..
as obidient as a programmed cyborg.
i get what i want..theres something weird about me. somehow i always end up wishing for miseries and being quite content with every bitter fruit i dominate on.
i rejoice the erratic virtue of choice..
building castles in the air..as always it collapses to my despair.when ever the journey has been some what on the verge of being steady there has to be an abandoned package of curse in the way..and i love unpacking packages ...the utter feeling of shock drives me insane and sometimes inhumane.
few nights back was laying on my back under the sky...gazing clueless -target stars.
a twinkling sun expressed how relative things can be...i see them mobbing the sky above me..but astronauts say they are walled by light-years.
disgust ,exhaust , lost , weak , hopeless
in the end all gets squared up!!
Cheerz !! AMEN